On the eve of Imbolc

Now I see through a glass darkly, that has been most of my life it would seem. Occasionaly you catch a glimpse through a clearer piece of the pane of glass, for a moment it all makes sense, and then it fades in confusion. That is where I have often been in my life, especially in the last year or so, and even more so in the last 6 months. However, for the moment things seem clearer, my path can be seen and my feet fall a bit more surely on the ground. In the shamanic sense I will be three years old tomorrow, three years since I placed my first foot on this path. And in true shamanic tradition I have, over the last year, died. Each moment when I thought that things could not get worst, I was proved wrong, each moment when I thought the price that I was paying was too much and I felt like giving up, I was proved that my capacity to cope with even more pain was greater than I had imagined possible. The scars run deep, there is no aspect of my life untouched, of that I am sure, and now on this eve of Imbolc I lay myself trully bare before this world. But even in this darkess hour, as with the world around me, there stirs the promise of hope and life anew. Just as the birds are starting to sing again and the lambing season starts, just as the shoots of new flowers push themselves up through the snow so my life has the signs of new beginnings. I am not saying that the road I travel will be easy, I am not saying that there will not be pain and sorrow, these are all part of the circle of life. It is just that now I know where I am, I know what I need to do, to let go, to regain control of my own soul and give back to others the control that I may of had over their soul. I need to sing my soul home, and learn to love again. Thank you

Imbolc is coming

February 1st is fast approaching and to me it has a a lot of meaning (read an old post – The Insights of a Kilvey Shaman: The Neon Signpost ). It will commemorate that I would of been travelling this shamanic path for 3 years. Each year I seem to lay some meaning on to this date and wait with baited breath for some magic wand to be waved in my life. This year it seems that a lot of things are coming to a point of change and I have for some reason felt very strongly about February 1st this year being a strong focal point, especially for the last 4 months or so. Is there some reason why this date is called the Festival of New Beginnings? What reasoning was behind the celts when they set up this festival?

House clearing

Well this is my first post of the new year on this blog. And it is to talk about the fact that I decided to create some space within my home and reclaim my altar. It seems that in some way my interest in shamanism is proportional to the prominance of my altar in my home. Of late, and to be honest, for quite a while, my altar has been either stuffed on a shelf in the bedroom or on the dresser facing the wrong way, so on New Years day, while sitting in my living room staring at the window I decided to give my altar the place that it deserved in my life, right in front of where i normally sit, along side the Television, under the window and facing North (wonderfull). I thought that this might of created some friction with my partner (rearranging the home) but fortunately she approved of the changes. So my altar is where it deserves to be and I already feel the benefits of it having a more prominant place in my life.

Transitions

Well the last few weeks have been a very busy and unusual period for me. Things have changed so profoundly, it almost feels like one part of my life is drawing to an end and another part is about to start. Life starts in pain……When you are born it is through pain and agony, with both you as a child suffering and your mother. This pain also bonds you, there is something that you will always share with your mother, even if you cannot remeber much of it. Over the last few months I have gone through a lot of anger, pain and suffering. There will be more pain to come, but it also heralds a new life ahead, a new beginning. Parts of this new life are already having an impact on me, I am once more learning to enjoy myself and to also think more about what I want and need out of life instead of putting everyone else first. I think for a while I am going to be selfish and think of me for a change.