weight update

Ok just a quick note to say that I have just passed the 5 stone threshold in my weight loss.

I now weigh 285.6lb or 20st 5.6lb.  I have just dipped below 20.5 stone and am aiming towards passing 20 stone real soon.  Anything after 20 stone will be new territory for me in recent years.

Blogged with Flock

you light the skies up above me

Yes I am single, and yes I am in a good mood and yes I am enjoing myself, but…..

Its just a shame there is no one in my life that I can sing this too, its such a wonderful song, even if take that sing it….

Rule The World

You light, the skies up above me
A star, so bright you blind me
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t fade away
Don’t fade away

Yeh you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world
Yeh you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

If walls, break down, I will come for you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You’ve saved my soul
Don’t leave me now
Don’t leave me now

Yeh you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world
Yeh you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you,

Yeh you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world
Yeh you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you

Letting off some steam – big time

OK, before I start, SORRY FOR THE RANT….

The last month has been a somewhat chaotic roller coaster ride, screwing up with my emotions, but I have chosen, out of respect to not air them on here until now, simply because I have had enough now, and I no longer care about avoiding stepping on toes.

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING -  IF YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT YOU THEN I SUGGEST YOU DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER, AS THIS WILL PROBABLY OFFEND. Oh yes and remember I mention no names in this and will not reply to any communications generated by this.

So where to start, Well over the course of my life I have had friendships of varying degrees, most of them with people who use me, but there have been a few where I felt a part of something larger, where I gained as much from the relationship as the other person(s).

Such was the case with one individual, however, recently, I asked this person something, and it has turned our friendship/relationship upside down, in fact it has probably made it far worst than I can imagine.  The most stupid thing is, it is probably simply due to misunderstandings and over-active imaginations, probably on both sides.

Presently It seems I am unable to communicate with this person in any form whatsoever.  I was asked to back off for a bit.  However it presently feels to me that ‘back off’ actually means ‘F*** off’.  Not saying that that is the case, just saying that is simply how I perceive it at present. 

I no longer know what to do anymore with this, therefore I am going to do nothing, the ball is being firmly placed on the other side of the net, if it is returned I might respond…….

P.S. AS far as any perceived indiscretions on my part, here are the things that I feel might of caused some bad feelings, but once again this is just me speculating….

* I chose not to do anything for anyone on Valentines day because I am not with anyone, and anyone that I might be interested in asked for space.  Remember I do not do subtle, I take people on exactly what they say to me.

* I spend a lot of time with people who for now, I perceive as friends.  All of them are female, and all of them are in relationships with other people.  And none of them are interested in me.  Which pretty much sums up most of my life to be honest.  I have ALWAYS got on better with women, I have always been more comfortable around them.

* And just because I may spend time with people does not mean that I might pick up some of their habits (for want of a better word). I merely choose to not judge them, but rather be a friend when they need one.

And thats it……there is nothing else for me to say on this matter, at least for now

Blogged with Flock

Ha st. Vals day again, grrrrrr

OK just chucking this out there.  No, the card is not from me!!!!

There, now I know that will disappoint loads of women admirers, but life is like that.  I thought, well i don’t know which woman to send a card too, so instead of disappointing like 15 other women I best not send a card to anyone at all.

Cheapest year to date, now thats a bonus.

Bye girls, see ya all next year, when I will no doubt disappoint you all again……..

the kilvey dragon, lol

This is a little picture I drew and then cleaned up as this is going to be my next tattoo, on my index finger, between my first and second knuckle, although the tail will probably drop to the back of my hand.
I actually think its pretty cool, considering my drawing skills are mediocre at best and my tattoo design skills are non existent, yaa for me……..

Blogged with Flock

Imbolc – new beginnings – candlemas

Well its my anniversary again, my 5th year since walking my pagan path, and also my 1st anniversary of living in St. Thomas. Slowing this day is becoming more important to me than my own birthday (especially since I am 40 this June).

So lets have my yearly supervision. How have I been for the last year?

Work – Well I took nearly a year out of community work, spending time working in virgin media on tech support. Overall it was a fun time and useful for charging my batteries up, giving me the chance to try and sort out other aspects of my life.

Play – The early part of the year was really a great time for me, going to the cinema again, going out drinking, even going swimming again. This hit a nice wonderful high for a while, but sadly has fallen into a bit of neglect.

Family – I have been spending more time with my mother and father and even more time with other family members, overall this is a good thing. Although I end up hearing more ad more about family politics, which I try to stay out of. Other than my son, Ieuan, who I love dearly and try to fit my life around him as much as I can, I have become more involved in the lives of my nephews and nieces. Ciaran and Danielle have shown me parts of their life which I never knew of before, I feel privileged to now be a part of it, if not sometimes bewildered and confused.

Spiritual – Well parts of my spiritual life have gone into regression, especially things like meditation and visualization. However I have had the opportunity to explore other aspects of paganism, especially stuff about the spirit world and working with auras. However , in general, my growth has been almost non-existent.

Love – Oh my F***ing gawd, well I think I write about this often enough to not write too much about it here.  But lets just say, its been a rollercoaster ride, which, quite frankly, is not over yet.
Friends – Guess what, I have some. This is something that I find the hardest to absorb. Over the year I have had very few friend, and almost all of them have been of the ‘want’ or ‘needy’ type, so not true friends at all. However, over the last year or so, I have developed friendships with people that mean a lot to me. The problem however is that my skills in recognizing who are my friends and how I interact and socialize with them is somewhat lacking. It seems I end up hurting them far too often, which is never intended, but also shows me how much they actually care about me, something else I am still not used too.

Health – Well this has been probably the part of my life that has had the greatest achievement to date and has been recorded quite well in my blog, so does not need to be looked at here.