words fail….
I am sitting here, thinking, ‘What can I write?’……
I need to write something, my stomach is physically aching with the need to express myself here in this blog, to explain to the world how I feel right now and how I have been feeling over the last couple of weeks.
But it is a tad awkward, whatever I say will invite both comment and interpretation and at present I do not want either. I just want my head and heart too, at least for a moment, stop spinning and racing, too calm down. However another part of me wants to just dive head long into the moment and immerse myself completely.
It seems that, as always, I am living between two choices, one is for the merry-go-round to slow down and the other is for it to speed up…..typical.
I think it is possibly a battle between my heart and my mind….My heart want to dive right in, allow all these emotions to come to the surface, to experience each second to its fullest and take deep breaths. However my somewhat guarded mind does not want to let go, in case it gets hurt. It wants to be reasonable, and to protect me from disappointment. Perhaps it believes the bubble will burst soon…..
I pray it never does…..
G (Not feeling much like a vulcan today)
hi hun god u sounding as i felt the other week im always thinking of others and never myself so i thought for one day im going to think of me and tell everyone how i felt i might of upset a few but i needed to get it off my chest i ended up getting back with the only guy iv ever loved and feeling like a big weight had been taken off my shoulders for the first time in a long time i felt good i told the ones i loved why i loved them and i put my feelings in full view the only thing that worried me was rejection and being hert but omg it was so worth it i feel a better person for doing it i hope this has helped u decide what to do u gotta be honest with you to help u move on yr a fab guy whos got so much to give dont hide away tell the world how you feel for just one day good luck
lots of hugs jayne x
thanks luv, things have certainly liven up for me of late, instead of holding everything back and woorying about things I have expressed my hopes and dreams to someone and things are now wonderful, if a bit complex, but still wonderful, i wake up with a smile and go to sleep with one now….