The Breakfast Club – Don’t you forget about me

I just finished watching the Breakfast club for the very first time, the ending actually made me cry, who would of thought.  So here are the lyrics to the song.  Talk about a flashback to the 80’s

Hey, hey, hey ,hey
Ohhh…

Won’t you come see about me?
I’ll be alone, dancing you know it baby

Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love’s strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

Don’t You Forget About Me
Don’t Don’t Don’t Don’t
Don’t You Forget About Me

Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ohhhh…..

Don’t you try to pretend
It’s my feeling we’ll win in the end
I won’t harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security

Don’t you forget about me
I’ll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I’ll put us back together at heart, baby

Don’t You Forget About Me
Don’t Don’t Don’t Don’t
Don’t You Forget About Me

As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away

Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on – call my name
Will you all my name?

I say :
La la la…

Maybe I should of started off with a plant?

I remember watching some program once where, in order to teach people about commitment in relationships and responsibility they would ban them from such and give them a plant to take home and care for,  Then, after years of looking after the plant they might work towards a small domestic pet.  Eventually they would be allowed to start seeing people, and building personal relationships.

Perhaps I should of bought a plant…..

Seriously though…….I keep taking out my permenant marker of life and circling this issue with me.  The double edged reality that I want to dive head long into a relationship, even though I know on another level that I need to rebuild my own life and links and enjoy being single first.

With that in mind I am happy to recognise the fact that I have had two positive experiences, going to town on my own to meet up with friends, socialising and enjoying thier company and then coming home.  I need to do this more, sort of like immersion therapy, eventually I will become comfortable enough with it that I will not think twice about the thought of going to town on an evening and merely moving from pub to pub or club to club with the confident knowledge that I will bump inot familar and friendly faces in each of them (Not that I want to turn into an alcoholic disco stu, lol).

Nonetheless I have enjoyed myself the last couple of times I have gone out.  This week I have a few more social engagements on my calendar and I am curious as to how well behaved I will be, you never know, in a couple of years time I might be allowed to look after a small pet……

G (Relationship Guru)

Loving all his friends (old and new)

Google Wave – Pure Genius

Ok, Last night I read up on Google Wave, thanks to Mashable.com and their twitter/facebook feed that I follow.  I then spent odd bits of today watching their 90 minute video from a Conference that they attended (the Keynote speech).  And now I feel truelly blessed.  I believe that Google Wave will revolutionize how we interact over the internet and it brings everything one step closer to everyone using just one type of communication to access every nock and niche of thier lives and the lives of the friends, family and colleagues.

The concept of turning mail on its head and having the ability to have multi-threaded conversations within them is awesome and so full of interactive potential to be blowing my mind away for quite some time.  I would highly recommend everyone watching the video on their website at wave.google.com

G (The G wave)

X

Aggressive Evolution

OK I just been mulling this concept over in my mind for the last hour, and I find it rather fascinating so I will try to write it down and share it with you all.

OK we as a species have become one of, if not, the most successful species on this planet to date, and yet we are constantly hounded by such concepts as trying to balance our existence with that of the planet, to not abuse her, to reduce our population to a stable level, to not use up the fossil fuels, to come up with ways of reducing waste, of recycling, etc.  I can underatand these ideas and even support them as far as is practicable in my own lifestyle.

However many people seem to regard the human race as something totally seperate from all the other species on the planet, there is us and then there is nature.  We build town and cities and roads and yet we are encrouching on nature, destroying her.

As one of my favourite authors once pointed out, the beaver is part of nature and yet it cuts down trees, builds dams and alters the course of rivers and streams to suit itself, often changing the environment around it.  The praire dog builds huge underground cities, numbering into the hundreds of thousands and yet this is still part of nature.

Personally I think it is arrogant of us to assume that we are not part of nature, that we are somehow above it.  We are this planet, evolving and adapting, we are its experiment.  In the film ‘Independence Day’ the alien species is compared to a swarm of locust, travelling from planet to planet, stripping it of resources and yet locusts are part of nature and follow their own patterns, which the planet adapts too.  Locust have been around for a very long time and I doubt they will die off any time soon and yet we are not over run with them and they have not stripped our planet bare.

As a species I believe that we have evolved far enough that we are the first species on this planet that can now either adapt its environment to suit itself or even adapt itself to any environment.  We can even live in a tin can in the vacuum of space, and probably even thrive there, and I think that is and has to be our next step in our evolution.

If we are to be compared to the Locust then I think it is part of our evolutionary step to move beyond the confines of this planet, to, in a sense, strip it bare of its resources, so much so that we have to ‘hurl ourselves out into the void’ to find other resources, the moon, the asteroids, the other planets, and even other star systems.  If we do not then we have to follow a path that will allow us to strike a balance with this planet, to live in harmony, to regulate our activities and our population, and down that road lives an evolutionary dead end.  We will be stepped on by some other species, either from this planet or from another, one that is more aggressive in its evolution than us (The locust to our Dodo).  Dinosaurs once ruled this planet and something happened to them, the smaller species managed to adapt, but changed the direction of thier evolution from hunter/killers to what has not become a small budgie in a cage that stresses out at the slightest thing and starts pulling its feathers out.

So we have to continue evolving, aggressively until this planet cannot hold us and then burst out into the universe.

But ultimately, what can I, or even we do about this.  Nothing, nothing at all.  As one voice in the dark, as one candle lit against the coming storm, I am not that arrogant to assume that I could have an impact on the species and its evolution, only time can be the final judge of what we become, and I will be dust a long time before then….

G (feeling very philisophical)

Late night thoughts

Well Ieuan is upstairs after I sent him up to go to sleep, afterall he is 11 now and should be able to sleep upstairs without his daddy going to bed as well…..so i have an opportunity of quiet reflection and blogging, and as we all know I like to blog when I can, and my adorable fans all like it too.

But what to talk about. thats the problem I sort of know where I want to go in this conversation but jst do not know where to start, so I will let the words flow on thier own and see if it takes us where I want it to go.

The last week I have been on high flirt levels as I often can be, but those that know me best realise that that is really just a screen to cover the real me and to throw shadows and illusions at the world around me.  But now its late at night and I look towards my bed thinking that its empty and wondering how long it will remain such.

Now I know we all need to stand tall, and I know that I need to get out and enjoy myself more (hence the flirting), but at the end of the day can I be something that I am not.  Can I be the casual, light hearted fun guy, who flits from one relationship to another like a bee with its flowers, or am I only capable of what I already am, a person who is a hopeless romantic, who dives head first into any relationship, regardless of the cost.

I am presently trying so very hard to remain that light carefree person, but at the end of the day, when my head hits the pillow, I am alone, and it frightens me to think too long down that road, wondering when or if I will enter into another meaningful and real relationship.

Can I live each day as it presents itself, not worrying about the next.  Or do I look to the future and allow myslef to become caught up in some minor depression.

So heres to me, signing off, G

Loving all those special ladies out there….

xxx

Against All Odds – Phil ‘The Man’ Collins

I was listening to this song this morning on the radio and it brought back some memories of me as a teenager crying into my pillow, thinking about girls……

So here are the lyrics and boy are they powerful

Against All Odds

How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we’ve shared the laughter and the pain,
and even shared the tears
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now,
‘cos there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
‘cos there’s just an empty space
And you coming back to me
is against all odds and that’s what I’ve got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now,
‘cos there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
‘cos there’s just an empty space
But to wait for you,
well that’s all I can do and that’s what I’ve got to face
Take a good look at me now,
‘cos I’ll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That’s the chance I’ve got to take, oh, oho

Just take a look at me now

Aye they were good days, lol……

Now I am off to find my pillow and have a cry again  – NOT

The G (there can be only one)

Perving in Pwll

Well its a few days late now but i thought I just have to write up on my adventures in Pwll.

So there I was chatting to my friend on Monday evening, when I discovered that this poor soul was doing the late night bus home and was taking well over an hour to get home after finishing work at 10pm.  Now me being a Gentleman could not tolerate such a dilema for a damsel in distress (although I doubt she was distressing) so I offered her a lift for the following evening.  Thereafter followed a complex trail of text messages, insecurities, apologises and jokes which resulted in my picking up my friend from work at 10pm.  End result one delightful lady home early and a nice chat in a car about pagan things, a win win situation.

Once I was home and settled in I decided to chat to my other friend (from Pwll) and mentioned that I was up near her neck of the woods at about 10.30.  The result of that conversation was that I was going to pop in for coffee the following night after dropping my friend off.  So Wednesday morning I nipped over to tesco and decided to invest in a satnav, thinking it wouldl make my journey to Pwll easier ‘Driving like a local’ as the blurb said.

So anyway, to speed up a bit, another delightful conversation and one friend dropped off and then I pressed in my frineds address in the satnav.  And so began the journey that would take me to places I probably never want to go to again.

The lovely satnav suggested that I hit the motorway and head back from Langennech to Penllegar, then through Gorseinon, which I was half concerned about but dutifully obeyed this contraption.  Then it navigated me to loughor and suddenly demanded that I turn left as it intoned that magic phrase ‘You have arrived at your destination’…..NOT, I was in some side road of blinking loughor named maes yr haf, which was indeed the same name as my friends street, but I knew that the satnav was lying to me (deliberately so) .  So after the initial shock I texted my friend to get her address again whilst revising my eta and proceeded to drive towards the bridge heading towards Llanelli.

5 minutes later I pull up on some lane just off a roundabout while I read the text from my friend to update the satnav (with a hammer I was hoping).  So there was my car, headlights on, indicator flashing, in the middle of nowhere, at 11pm at night.  No wonder the police pulled up next to me, they must of thought I was either some perv or a drug dealer waiting for a some sort of drop.  So after some hasty explanations the police directed me a tad bit further on my journey into the unknown.  After two more texts and I think two more conversation on the phone I eventually managed to pull up in Pwll at about 11.20pm, after dropping off my first friend at 10.25, all of 10 minutes away, as I later found out when driving home.

I hope you all enjoyed this entertaining summary of my dark adventures in Pwll, literally I was in the dark, and without a clue too, hehehe…….

Love you all, a slightly relieved G – after getting home safely

Late Night Musings

Well its nearly the witching hour and I am just sitting here listening to music that makes you want to cry, why? I don’t know…..

So I thought I would blog some random stuff and see where it gets me.

Gaynor and the kids moved out a few days ago. So it seems a bit strange around here. Granted the obvious benefit is I can run through the house naked if I wanted to, but then I never did that before so I doubt I will do it now. I do have space now, instead of feeling that the house was not mine, squeezing my entire existence onto one chair, and that’s not the toilet seat.

But it still feels weird as hell….

I been cleaning the house as well, also moving stuff to Gaynor’s and moving stuff around this one, so I have been very busy the last few days, especially late at night.

My weight has increased unfortunately but I intent to get that back in check pretty soon – I need to stop stuffing my face in everyone else’s house as if it might be my last one for a while.

One minor good thing, once everything settles back down, I have regained my library and quiet room where I can start rebuilding my altar

bye for now folks

G ( confused and tired)

Boffing madness

My long time school/life time friend Oz sent me a link to a sport/activity called boffing.  I have since researched it and it reminded me of my LARP days (running around Margam Park as a barbarian dwarf with a beefy quarterstaff).  So it seems that Boffing is a spin off from several other activities, but has become something separate and fun in its own right.

So I went to B&Q and came home with the materials to make a few basic weapons, the result of which is below

The kids seem to like them and too be honest I quite enjoy the chance of therapy, hitting kids in a safe and controlled way, lol.

I first made two simple generic boffer swords, although I latter added a hand guard to one of them, I then made a generic dagger out of the scrap bits, of course I then rushed back to B&Q to get more materials and have since made a 6ft quarterstaff (pugel stick) which has always been my weapon of choice.

I am seriously thinking of using these boffer weapons in youth club on Tuesday and see how well it can be controlled as a fun activity.

There seems to be nothing quite like it in Swansea on initial investigation but I will look further into it, however, I can see me creating a group in the eastside of Swansea if there is not one, as this can be a fun way to get fit and socialise too, and never forget the therapy……

Boffer G signing out

Ode to the nice guys

I found this as I was stumbling and loved it too much to leave it alone, as I can identify with it all to much

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003